I want to shout it off the roof tops -- I AM HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!

Each day it's like a wonderful surprise. I really am having a baby. Each brings me close to my bundle of joy. My miracle. I find I am incredibly open with this journey which surprises even me. The reaction I get is just as great. Today we went to the pool and started talking about how next year the baby will be about 3 months old when summer comes. A lady nearby mentions how good I look for being pregnant ;) LOL. One of the nice things about surrogacy is I will look this good after we deliver too! So I tell her we have a gestation surrogate and the conversation went from there. She was so excited for us and had tears in her eyes, which made me cry. She then told me a story of her family member who has been struggling to have a baby. It seems everybody know somebody struggling, which makes me sad. I know how hard that journey is.

A new member joined my pph support group and she is 21! I am so sad for her. What a struggle. Just when I think mine was bad, I realize, others had it much worse, especially those ladies who didn't make it. I feel like I have done well with my recovery. It's a struggle daily as I think all recoveries in this nature are. I think it's because I always knew I would end up here. I didn't know how or when but I knew. I told the nurses in the ICU that I WAS NOT done having babies. There are some around me who I think doubted my strength and resolve. But I think you need people like that, just to show them how strong you are.

On a happy note, Buffy said she is showing. I am so excited. I will post pics after I see her in a week. How cute, a baby bump. There are so many firsts i can't wait to go through with her and this is one of them. Here is to many more, first kick, first hiccup, I am so in love with this little miracle.