I have been getting a lot of questions lately, so I am going to do my best to answer them all.
1. Is it weird to not be carrying the baby?
Yes, kinda. It makes it all a little hard to believe. Like at our doctor appointments, I "know" it's my baby, but it takes some time to sink in. Otherwise, it doesn't feel that weird, it is just what is.
2. What has been the hardest point so far?
That is tough, there have been so hard points. First would be actually finding Buffy. It's very difficult to put yourself out there and make yourself very vunruable to people. I really resisted putting up an ad, because I was scared of the unknown. It was hard getting delayed while cycling. Now it seems like it went fast, but at the time, it was rough.
3. How are my kids taking it?
they are both thrilled. Mike understands a little more than Bella does, but she tells everyone "Our Buffy is carrying our baby". They both know mommy's belly is broken and so that is why Buffy is carrying. Bella wants the baby to come home right now so we are X'ing off a calander to count down the days.
4. How are Buffy's kids taking it?
Her kids are still pretty young, but her daughter gets it that it's not her sibling. Kids are very adaptable and accepting. It's really something adults should try more often to do/be.
5. Will it be hard for Buffy to give up HER baby to you? (yes I really got this!)
I am going to have to say since it's not HER baby, it won't be that hard. She is just giving it back to us since we created it. I have a feeling she will be more attached, which is good because I know how much she cares for the baby and us!
7. Do you want a boy or girl?
I don't know. I want a healthy baby. Both boys and girls have pros and cons, and since we have one of each either way we are blessed. Although don't ask Bella because she is insistant that it's a girl and will argue with you if you say otherwise!
8. Is surrogacy expensive?
Yes, mostly because any type of infertility treatment is expensive. There are not very many programs to help offset the cost either. My clinic Cleveland Clinic, has an awesome program Partnership for Families and will give a free IVF cycle if your first cycle fails. (however they don't do surrogacy!) Resolve and Inciid also have a couple types of scholarships. It's really unfair that couples who really want children and would make great parents have to spend so much just to have a baby and those who shouldn't be having children get pregnant so easily. I have written to all my state congress people about changing Ohio laws to cover all IF treatments with insurance. This at least would be a start to help couples.
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Hey all! Since I have electricity back on, I thought I'd respond to some of the questions Deana mentioned. First, like Deana said, my boys are too young to understand that I'm even pregnant or what pregnant IS yet, but my daughter Kylie totally understands and tells everyone that there is a baby in mommy's belly and its Ms.Deana's baby (she can never remember Mr.Luke's name!). She is also insistent that its a girl! I ask her "what if its a boy?" And she says "No, its a girl Mommy." Maybe she and Bella know something we don't! Second, like Deana said- this is NOT MY BABY! For me, its a very different experience than it is to carry my own children. Because its 100% genetically Deana and Luke's baby- I have never had ANY feelings of THAT kind of motherly attachment to this baby. To me, I feel like I'll be attached to this baby the way I would be to a neice or nephew- you love them, care for them, would do anything the parents needed to help with them- but they aren't your kid...does that make sense? I really want nothing more than to be able to see Deana and Luke holding a healthy baby come the middle of March!
Anyway, I just thought I'd share my two cents on the topic. Its an amazing experience that is for SURE!!
-Buffy
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