A New Day

It's amazing how much better you feel after a couple hours and some tears. When i first thought about writing this blog, I was just going to write all the happy stuff, but then I realized it wouldn't all be the truth. IF and surrogacy are not easy. It takes very strong intended parents and very strong, selfless surrogate and husband to make it work. There are so many emotions that go along with this journey. I do wish i could be one of those women that just decided to get pregnant and bammo, it happens. But I am not.

i am learning alot about my self on this journey.
1. I am a really good mother! :) I always wanted to be a good mother, but wanting to and actually being one are quite different. As my children grow and mature, I am making sure they have an excellent childhood. They are learing and developing and I am there (with Luke) guiding them and making them be really great people. It's one of the reasons I do want another baby is because I am enjoying raising the two I have so much. I am not saying it's easy. I do question myself at times, but I feel we are really bringing them up with morals, values, and personal responsibility.
2. I am a survivor. That's just it, i am. I cheated death and am still here and it's nothing short of a miracle.
3. I will never "get over" my hysterectomy and near death experience and that is ok. I used to think I was supposed to "get over" it because people kept telling me i should be. I have finally realized what do they know? I am tired of people minimizing what not only I went through, but Luke and our children. It's a huge event in our lives and changed all of us.
4. I have good judgement. We had people who told us not to do IVF. i am so glad I didn't listen. My beautiful daughter is sleeping in the next room because Luke and I chose to listen to ourselves. We didn't let non-supportive people stop us and as a result we have a special princess to love and Mike got the little sister he always wanted.
5. I have good instinct. I *knew* I would find Buffy one day. I didn't know what her name would be, or what she would look like, or even how I would find her, but I just *knew* I would. When I did find her, it was like everything fell into place.

I am still amazed we are actually doing this journey. It's funny because last summer I sold tons of baby stuff because Luke wanted it out of the house and said we could buy all new stuff. We knew we would do surrogacy eventually but since we weren't sure when I agreed and now look! LOL.

Here are some inspirational quotes to help get through this:

There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream
------author unknown

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
-------Babe Ruth

The difference between a successful person and other is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.
-----Vince Lombardi

Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.
-------Henry Ward Beecher

Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.

------Dan Rather

The winners in life think constantly in terms of I can, I will, and I am. Losers, on the other hand, concentrate their waking thoughts on what they should have or would have done, or what they can't do.

-------Dennis Waitley

I'd rather regret the things that I have done
than the things that I haven't.
------- Lucille Ball

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-------~Albert Einstein

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions are they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
---------Denis Waitley